Sunday, August 26, 2012

keeping up with the supermamas

instead of keeping up with the joneses, are you stuck in the vicious cycle of keeping up with the supermamas?

the one who wakes up at 4am to make homemade dough for out-of-this-world cinnamon rolls, then spends an hour doing her bible study and praying, and finally pounding it out on the treadmill for 45 mins, all before a soul in her house makes a peep.

don't get me started...but yes, i will.

she greets all of her children channeling julie andrews in the sound of music, "the hills are alive..." while telling each and every child how important they are without any kind of "hurry, hurry, we're late" in her voice. then this wonderful mama holds both kids on her hips while managing the iron with her foot so her hubby can wear a crisp, clean shirt to work.

don't get me started.

she fills her house with love and song, while the children play and she plays with them. she preps 3 dinners, 2 of which she will be delivering that afternoon to families who had babies. she sews on some buttons, finishes a quilt, and makes some homemade cards for friends that need a little encouragement. she wraps up the morning with sweeping and mopping the whole downstairs and scrubbing all the toilets.

her homemade turkeyball sub sandwiches are a hit with her children who eat everything. afterwards her beautifully behaved kids go down for a nap singing to her, "i love you mommy, so, so, so much" as she quietly exits their room.

instead of just turning on the TV for some downtime, she does more meal prepping for the month, hand washes all the dishes and washes/folds 7 loads of laundry. (and sneaks on facebook from her iPhone to tell you how great the day is going!) the children wake up and a yummy, organic snack is waiting. then they're on to an art activity she got from pinterest and an afternoon stroll in the wagon so she can pull the kids up the hill for an arm workout.

meanwhile the kids are still singing "i love you mommy so, so, so much." then they add the chorus, "you are the best mommy ever."

her hubby comes home and she greets him with a hug and a kiss like the statue of the Navy sailor coming home from war. she never whispers how she needs a 30-minute break or rolls her eyes when he asks how her day went. because of course, her day was fabulous. because it always is, each and every. single. day.

now on to an organic, home-cooked dinner that was prepped that morning, a family discussion of highs/lows, and then a board game so the family can have bonding time and laughter. baths are done with ease and the bedtime routine never misses a beat with books, and songs and laughter.

don't get me started.

the children go down with no fuss, and this saint of a mama now offers her hubby a massage after a long day of work. no TV for this family except a couple days a week, so it's discussion time with the hubs to talk about his feelings which he IS HAPPY to jump in and share with her until the break of dawn if she would let him.

but she knows best...

off to bed and this supermama reads her essential books on all things parenting and all things christian.

after giving her husband a night he won't soon forget, she updates facebook to tell you all about her superheroine'ness and drifts off to sleep.

for 1 hour...after all that's all the sleep this supermama needs.

don't get me started!

and she wakes up tomorrow and does it all AGAIN.

with her updating of facebook and handmade card she sends, you feel that she feels her role on this earth is to "encourage" you in her perfect role model of wife'ing and parenting.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

i call bulls*&%!

this is what we THINK the supermama is doing.

and this is what we THINK we SHOULD be doing to be like supermama.

ladies, this supermama and wife...DOES NOT EXIST!

i promise! (and if you're out there, please message me ASAP! i'd like to call you to the carpet.)

sure, we all have done things on this above mentioned list and if we haven't, we have all wished we could.

they are all great, wonderful things to place importance on your husband, your children, and a healthy lifestyle. controlled temperament, serving non-stop, and living joy out each and every day.

these are all fantastic things and i wish i could do all of them every single day. (but alas, i still send my buttons to the seamstress. :)

here's the deal. the REALITY.

i can't. period. i'm human, not supermama.

i believe through Christ i can ask Him to show me my shortcomings and over time like the refiner's fire, he can help me improve in a specific area where i continue to fail.

but i'll never, ever be.................PERFECT! ever.

i'll never be this supermama.

let's show some mama love and support each other by not flaunting what we're good at as supermamas. it's not doing anything good for the self-esteem of us mamas.

if asked by a mama, who just really needs to know the keys to success, share away. after all, you were asked by her. your efficient ways may also change her life. i have done that with my friend laura and through her, i have learned more about parenting that any book i could have read.

find someone you admire and who has been there/done that, and ask her how she does it. you'll get some great tips on how to make life easier and to better multi-task.

but you know what?

if your friend is REAL, she will also share all the shortcomings and mistakes so you won't make the same ones or if you have, so you can both have a laugh about it! you'll get her authenticity and she won't let you think she is supermama...DOING IT ALL...ALL THE TIME.

that's my friend laura. i wish you all had her as a friend!

humility in motherhood is a beautiful thing to watch.

but it's important to realize a humble mother is not a mama with no confidence. we all have our strengths and weaknesses. but we all look different. we all have different husbands, different children, different lives, different beliefs. no matter how much the "same" we can look.

it's easy to see someone with the "same" life, and think you should be doing your life like hers. wonder if she is thinking the same thing about your life...wishing it was hers?

if we all could love, support and laugh with other mamas, instead of judging and one-up'ing each other, how much happier could we be?

please allow me this final suggestion...

until you find out who you are in Christ, you will never know who you are as a wife or a mother.

i leave you with this quote from a must-read book by meg meeker, the 10 habits of happy mothers:

"we think of humility as seeing ourselves as lowly or less than others. in fact, humility is just the opposite. it is embracing a realistic look at our frailties as well as our strengths and then believing that we, just as other mothers who have their own frailties and strengths do, share INORDINATE VALUE. we can love others because we can accept and love ourselves in our less-than-perfect states.

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