Tuesday, April 12, 2011

project 365 - day 102

today i had a scare with my pregnancy when i started bleeding and cramping. i texted ken at work and asked him to come home right away while i waited to hear from the doctor. i sat on the couch trying to watch kennedy play while thinking the worst-case scenario was happening. i was terrified i was losing the baby.

i heard back from the nurse and they wanted me to come in right away. as i was pulling out of the driveway, ken pulled up and we headed to the doctor's office. as soon as i arrived, they whisked me back to the sonographer while ken and kennedy parked the car. i laid down on the table and started crying. i told the sonographer i couldn't lose this baby too and she gave me a hug and tried to console me. she didn't know the story of matthew since she wasn't my doctor, but i briefly told her about him. she had genuine sympathy in her words and actions and i was comforted by her kindness. the midwife joined us in the room and the sonographer began the ultrasound.

i looked on the screen and saw the fast unmistakable movement and said "the heartbeat..." as tears rolled down my face. i couldn't get any more words out for several minutes. the sonographer moved the probe all around and couldn't find any source for the bleeding which she said was a good sign. the midwife explained that some people just bleed during pregnancy but it was good that i came in to get checked out. i explained i had bleeding with kennedy twice and matthew 4-5 times, one of which was a small placenta separation. this time it was more blood than i had had previously, accompanied by cramping so i thought i was having a miscarriage. finally the midwife went to get ken and kennedy and we showed them the baby on the screen. 'lil bean was moving all around and measured at 11 weeks. it was a moment full of joy that gave us hope. and a moment full of relief that dissipated our worst fears. i left the doctor's office with orders to be on bedrest (as much as i could) for a few days.

as soon as we got home a dear friend who was back in town for a few days came over for lunch. during lunch kennedy started acting fussy and when i checked her temperature it was 102.8. i called the doctor and got her an appointment later that afternoon. we saw a nurse practitioner who we had never seen before and she said it was a virus. we went home and kennedy finally took a nap.

ken worked from home the rest of the day so i also laid down and took a nap. before i fell asleep i had a real honest conversation with God. i cried tears of frustration to Him and asked why pregnancy had to be so hard. i felt like i just laid there with no answer and i cried more tears. but then i had an overwhemling realization the lives i've carried and the one that grows inside me now are truly miracles. i stopped feeling sorry for myself and being afraid and angry about pregnancy being difficult for me, and just thanked Jesus for the miracles i have experienced, and the one i am currently apart of.

i am so thankful that everything was ok today. actually, thankful doesn't begin to describe it.

i asked God to help me trust that this life growing inside me will be a baby we can bring home in the fall. i think this is a prayer i prayed almost every day i was pregnant with kennedy. it's a prayer i still continue to pray now...will you pray it with me?

Sunday, April 10, 2011

project 365 - day 100 (!!!!)

well, it's official, i am way slacking in keeping up with my project 365. i'm fearlessly (ok, well, maybe not fearlessly) trying to catch up...so please bear with me.

but we're here at day 100...and i can officially tell you why i'm been a blog slacker.

i've been...




and in need of


all because i'm...

we're excited to meet baby schwalbe #3 on oct. 7! and we're very glad ken will be here for the birth. but we are bummed he will have to leave for a 1-year deployment to afghanistan only a few days later. :(

please pray for this baby and pregnancy, as it is always a bit nerve racking for us. because of my thin uterus when i delivered kennedy, the doctor is delivering me 4 weeks early at 36 weeks. this baby will be considered a preemie by 1 week (37 is full term), so please pray for the baby's development and that he/she would not have to spend any time in the NICU.

today, on this 100th day of project 365, i'm so thankful God has granted another life to grow inside of me and we can't wait to meet him/her. (btw, we're not finding out!) God's blessings continue to move me.

thanks so much for your prayers sweet friends! i know i can count on them because all of you are so faithful. love you all!

Monday, April 4, 2011

project 365 - day 94

happy 1st birthday to my sweet baby girl, kennedy!

you have brought so much joy to our lives precious daughter. you make me, daddy and your angel big brother matthew so proud. watching you grow over this past year has been such an amazing experience. i only wish time would slow down. i can't believe you're already ONE!

it seems like yesterday daddy was telling me that you were a girl and you were beautiful and healthy. i still remember when i first heard you cry and all the anxiety i had was replaced by tears of joy. my heart lept at that very moment and has been ever since.

you're not quite walking yet but you are crawling all over and cruising along everything. you have just started to let go and balance yourself for a few seconds but then you sit down. daddy and i got you a push walker for your birthday and we're hoping you will like it better soon (you cried when we first put you behind it!) you have 3 bottles of milk a day (we just switched to whole milk), and 3 meals a day and 1-2 snacks. each meal you still have baby food because you only have 2 teeth that just came in last week, but you do like solid foods. your favorites are bananas, strawberries, mandarin oranges, pears, blueberries, advocado, black beans, turkey, crackers, rice cakes, and yogurt.

you love playing and your favorite toys are your baby doll, xylophone, piano, books, play kitchen, and sophie the teething giraffe. you love to laugh and you still do your hissing face which cracks us up. if music is playing you like to dance. if i say, "bounce, bounce, bounce" you start dancing too! you like to go for walks in the stroller and playing with other kids. you're still a little shy when it comes to new people or seeing someone you haven't seen in awhile but you warm up as long as i stay in the room with you! you are a great night sleeper from 6:30pm to 7 or 7:30am. you take 2 naps for about an hour each, around 9:30am and 1:30pm. you love mommy but certainly when daddy comes home, you can't wait to spend time with him. you love getting lots of hugs and kisses and LOVE to be tickled!

we love you so much baby girl. thank you for giving us the amazing gift of joy! while God gave us a heavenly angel for our first-born, he gave us an earthly angel in you. 

Saturday, April 2, 2011

project 365 - day 92

today i am thankful for all the friends and family who came out to celebrate Kennedy turning

we had a bee-themed party and daddy made his homemade pizzas in our outdoor brick oven for everyone. my friend laura made some favors for us and my friend candace helped prepare decorations. i made all the cakes and candies and it was quite an undertaking (but worth it!) aunt candace sent her the cutest little bee-day outfit. we had such a great time!! thanks to all of our friends and family who came over to help us celebrate, especially those who traveled to be here ~ juju who flew in and the danjczek's who drove in from raleigh. below are a few photos...enjoy!