Sunday, February 27, 2011

project 365 - day 58

thankful for the trying times in marriage

caption reads: all marriages are happy. it's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

our small group is going through the "sacred marriage" study by gary thomas. it has been such a blessing in our lives. today we talked about how God brings us through difficult times and the refining power of marriage.

gary writes, "if marriage is the union of one person who stumbles in many ways to another person who stumbles in many ways, occasionally having sex and making little people who stumble in many ways, why are so many people surprised when they discover how difficult marriage can be?"

i think back to the difficult times in our marriage and realize it was God's refiner's fire for our relationship. the purpose of many of our trials prior to losing matthew (and even now) was for us to realize we had to rely completely on God, not ourselves. because we learned to lean on Him through these times, when the unimaginable trial of losing our firstborn son came, we knew exactly what to do. we had to lean heavily into God. it wasn't easy and i'll be the first to admit, we didn't always get it right. but God's unwavering grace got us through that time (and it still does!)

in the midst of ugly, it's hard to see beauty. when you're in the throws of horrible, how can you see happy? i believe God gives us exactly who we need in a marriage partner. in the good times and the bad, we have to turn to Him to make sense of it all. i have always loved the description of a triangle when it comes to marriage. God is the top point and each spouse is on either side. as each person grows closer to God, they grow closer to one another. i've always said it takes 3 people to make my marriage work. God, me, and ken. thank goodness for the third party! ;-)

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