thankful for the broken pitcher
how does a broken heart shattered into a million pieces get put back together? today, this second anniversary of our son's death, his heavenly angel birthday, i struggle to find something, just one thing to be thankful for. if anyone who has ever lost someone special can take a sad day out of the year to just grieve, to mourn, and be nothing but sad, then the day when you lost that person is certainly appropriate.
january 11th is that day for me...it might always be. we've tried hard to make matthew's birthday, just 5 short days before, a day of celebration, a day of joy, and a day to reflect on the the miracle of his life. but i can't make january 11 a day of joy. the truth is i'm not trying to. i'm not focused on this being matthew's heavenly birthday because if i was, i might be less sad. getting to heaven is a joyous occasion and i will be thrilled when i make the trip and can see him again. however, the memory of a day, when a momma was left on this earth with empty aching arms for her son, is anything but joy. i don't have eternal perspective to understand that january 11 is the joyous day when my son met his Maker. my earthy mind and longing heart just can't quite get my head around it.
but what i cling to is the true promise of heaven and the knowledge that one day these aching arms will be filled by the weight of my son. with these broken fragments scattered about, i know Jesus is putting them back together one piece at a time.
But I feel the weight of what it brings, and the hurt that trys to grab
The many trials that seem to never end, His word declares this truth,
that we will enter in this rest with wonders anew
But I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings
That there will be a place with no more suffering
There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face
But until that day, we’ll hold on to you always
I know the journey seems so long
You feel your walking on your own
But there has never been a step
Where you’ve walked out all alone
Troubled soul don’t lose your heart
Cause joy and peace he brings
And the beauty that’s in store