i came across this poem and thought i would share it with you. it describes how i have felt most days since january 11, 2009 when my angel went to be with Jesus. i was so ready to take on the mommy role long before matthew came. when he arrived i was so excited for the change and blessing he would bring to our lives. we had no idea that five days later that change meant we had to let go and give our son back to Jesus; and the dreams of being parents would have to be delayed even longer.
..."the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21
the proof of being a mommy might not be visible to the stranger i pass on the street, but in my heart i know i am. matthew made us a mommy and daddy, and 'lil bug, God-willing, will finally make our dreams of becoming parents true.
to all of the babyloss moms out there, especially the ones who do not have other children as "proof" of motherhood, this poem is for you. much love, my friends...
the mother poem
i thought of you and closed my eyes,
and prayed to God today.
i asked what makes a mother?
and i know i heard him say:
a mother has a baby
this we know is true
but God, can you be a mother
when your baby's not with you?
yes, you can He replied,
with confidence in his voice.
I give many women babies,
when they leave is not their choice.
some I send for a lifetime,
and others for a day.
and some I send to fill your womb,
but there's no need to stay.
i just don't understand this God,
i want my baby here.
He took a breath and cleared His throat,
and then i saw a tear.
I wish I could show you,
what your child is doing today,
if you could see your child smile,
with other children who say:
we go to earth and learn our lessons,
of love and life and fear.
my mommy loved me oh so much,
i got to come straight here.
i feel so lucky to have a mom,
who had so much love for me.
i learned my lessons very quickly,
my mommy set me free.
i miss my mommy oh so much,
but i visit her each day.
when she goes to sleep,
on her pillow's where i lay.
i stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
and whisper in her ear.
"mommy don't be sad today,
i'm your baby and i'm here."
so you see my dear sweet one,
your children are okay.
your babies are here in My home,
they'll be at Heaven's gate for you.
so now you see what makes a mother.
it's the feeling in your heart.
it's the love you had so much of,
right from the very start.
though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,
until their time is done.
they'll be up here with Me one day,
and you'll know that you're the best one!
~ author unknown