Wednesday, February 10, 2010

baby shower and nursery pics for 'lil bug

my sweet friend laura threw me and 'lil bug a shower while we were in austin. here are a few pics from the day. they guessed 7 to 2 i was having a girl. the ring on a string game also said girl...hmmm....

while we were snowed in for the february 2010 blizzard, we started working on the nursery. only 8 1/2 weeks left until we get to meet 'lil bug. we have the crib and the glider; just need to get a dresser that can double as a changing table. it took me awhile to be able to put together the nursery but finally i was ready.
after we were done i sat in the glider and gave myself some time to think. while i'm happy to get the nursery ready for 'lil bug, i am sad we never got one ready for matthew. with his original due date of march 30 and our move from greece back stateside to be at the beginning of june, we decided to get a pack 'n play with the bassinet topper for matthew to sleep in the first few months. once we moved back, we had planned on buying all the nursery furniture and setting it up for his room.
i sat in the rocker and wept that i never got a chance to do all the things with matthew that i will soon be doing with 'lil bug. i feel an incredible amount of joy that the blessing of a new child will soon be ours. but having a new child doesn't take away the pain of losing our sweet son. not a lot of people ask about matthew anymore. mostly they ask about 'lil bug. but that's ok though. i realize that matthew is at the forefront of our minds each day and he is not for most people. matthew will be a part of our lives each day. we will tell 'lil bug all about his/her big brother every chance we can. our family will continue to heal each day, but we will never be complete until we are all together again in heaven.


Kathleen said...

Dearest Cortney, Thanks for the updates. I am so glad you are getting ready for the lil bug. I know what you mean about people not mentioning Matthew anymore. A mom just doesn't forget and maybe a dad doesn't either. Today was Phillip's birthday. No one mentions him any more either. I still think about him and miss him even after all these years. I still shed a tear some times. But mostly when I think about him it is with a joy that I was able to be his mom. I will rejoice and be glad to be a grandma to the lil bug but I won't forget about Matthew. Any time you want to share things I will be here. Hugs to you and Kenneth.

Liz said...

hi- i got a link to your blog from your friend Diane- your little boy was beautiful. my baby girl Aquila died at birth on Dec 19th, so i understand your pain. congragulations on your pregnancy. thank you for sharing your story!