dear matthew phillip,
today we celebrated your first birthday. while we weren't able to hold you, see you dive into a cake and help you open your first presents, we imagine your party in heaven was incredible. with uncle matthew and uncle phillip at your side, i'm sure they threw you a fun party. and i know jesus is a much better host than we could ever be. however we missed being able to have this experience with you.
we sent all of your friends and family balloons we had printed up and they were launched all around the world in honor of you. your daddy and i went to your grave in austin and gathered with some friends. we read a scripture about you and what heaven is like and then we all launched our balloons. we stood there watching until we couldn't see them anymore. afterwards we all went out to lunch.
sweet son, we miss you more than i can describe. it's hard to be without you on this earth. sometimes i think if i could just hold you once it would make me feel so much better. if i could just see you look at me so you would know your mother's love, it would make a difference. i know you look down on me and wonder why i cry because heaven is so incredible. it's just because i know what a special boy you are and want you to be with me. one day i'll know what you mean about how amazing heaven is.
we love you so much precious son. happy first birthday!
love, mommy and daddy