Monday, September 7, 2009

miracles walking around

i was sitting with a friend and we were discussing what a miracle life is.

she was going through a difficult time in her pregnancy and i was just "being" there. hopefully helping, by just being there.

we were talking about how difficult pregnancy is and how difficult it can be to have a healthy, living child.

after all, i certainly know the sting of the latter.

she said, "does everyone walking around here know that THEY ARE FREAKIN' MIRACLES??"

i couldn't have said it better.

it seems to me that before having and losing matthew, i didn't think about pregnancy not resulting in a living baby. i was not exposed to anyone who had lost a baby, except through miscarriage, and it was very early on before the pregnancy was even announced.

if i saw someone's pregnant belly, i thought:

"she's carrying low; must be a boy."
"she looks like a tough girl; probably going to try it natural."
"she looks like she'll be a great mom."

i imagine when people looked at me and my big belly they also thought:

"she's carrying big and low, must be a boy."
"she doesn't look like the tough kind; probably should get an epidural."
"she looks like she'll be a great mom."

now when i see a pregnant woman, i have all kinds of thoughts:

"wow, she is a part of a miracle right now. does she realize that?"
"Lord, bless her and her family with an easy pregnancy and a healthy child."
"i want that to be me, too."

all of us walking around are miracles. all of the babies born today, tomorrow, and the next day are miracles.


i was able to experience being a mom to a miracle on this earth for five short days. to some mothers who didn't get five days, i was sure blessed to have that long. but to me it wasn't long enough. it never will be.

i have to cherish that miracle and those memories while here on this earth. we know our miracle little boy will be waiting for us in heaven. until then, we hope and pray that the Lord will bestow other little miracles on us. miracles we get to keep on this earth for awhile...

Psalms 37:4
"Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart."


laura said...

you are a true blessing my life and many others. i enjoy the style of your writing and messages you bring.
may God continue to bless you..
much love

Kathleen said...

You are a lovely person inside and out. You are an inspiration to me and others. I am so honored to have you as a daughter-in-law. I am very glad my son chose you to marry. I prayed for many years as my son got older that he would find a nice Christian woman to marry. My prayer has been answered. Many blessings to you and my son. Love and hugs, Kathleen
P.S. Just because my prayer has been answered, I haven't stopped praying for you, Kenneth, the rest of my family and friends.