Sunday, May 17, 2009

the gravestone

it has been a very difficult week.

our funeral director took these pictures for us when the gravestone came in. i wish i could be austin right now so i could just sit and talk with my son. i miss him so much. i don't know if it was the sting of mother's day or all of the changes that have been going on. but my heart breaks for my boy.

we found out about 5 weeks ago we were not going to be able to leave greece in june; however they were still trying to get us out of here in august. but this week we were told it looks like october because the navy does not have money to move people from their current duty stations until FY10. i won't go on and on about how angry i am that they are doing this to us. in short, i am not ok with this.

i am still praying for a miracle to get out of here sooner...i just can't imagine why we still "need" to be here. sometimes it feels like only the navy is in control. after all we have begged and pleaded with God to get us out of here.

is He listening??

greece is now such a painful place with heartbreaking memories. if october is what we have to deal with then ken and i are going to be faced with making a decision. i desperately need counseling, a beareaved parents support group, and an OB specialist, none of which i have here. i covet your prayers for us to be able to leave here in august.

my mom gets here for a 3-week visit on wednesday. ken has 2 work trips back to the states and my mom was able to come over and be with me. it will be so great to have her here.


Mary Anne Smith said...

Hi, Cortney. I am Jason Smith's mother and a fellow Red Raider. I have been following your story and aching as I read. We are in the process of moving to Round Rock, but we took care of Travis while all y'all went to the ten yr. reunion, and Dawn & Jason kept us up to date on Matthew's passing. I just felt a need to reach out to you after reading your Mother's Day blog and the ordeal of trying to get out of Greece and home to the U.S. D'check and Jason were great friends in the Academy, and we always support the Academy friends. We cannot know God's plans, but I wish you peace of mind in the future. You did all you could do to prepare for the birth of a child. I would love to meet you someday. Have a great visit with your mother, and take one day at a time.

Mary Anne Smith

Cat Martini said...

Cortney, you are one of the strongest people I know. I pray for you every day. I am also writing letters to everyone I can think of to see if I can prod someone into action on your behalf. If anyone needs to be home, it's you.

Much love,

Anonymous said...

Your ordeal was more than heartbreaking. My sincerest sympathies to you and your husband.

Do not hesitate to reach out to other English speakers in your time of need. I don't know of any support groups specifically, but you could browse other bloggers from Crete - there are about 700 on blogspot alone. Also, I know of an English speaking psychiatrist in Rethymnon. His name is Yiannis Tripodianakis. I think he may be affiliated with the University there, which might be another place to look. I know his wife is an American psychologist.

Anyway, good luck with everything. Allow yourself time to grieve. I think keeping your blog up might help somewhat.