Thursday, February 26, 2009

meet matthew phillip

matthew phillip schwalbe on january 7, 2009, his second day of life on this earth.


i've debated on whether or not to share the only picture of our son with you, dear friends and complete strangers. but what i decided is that...

i need you to know our son.

i need you to see how beautiful he was.
i need you to realize that he is now perfect. he is healed. because he is with jesus.
yesterday i was contemplating what i was going to be giving up for lent this year. i'm not catholic, but i do like giving up 1 thing each year so i can be reminded of what christ has done for me. but i'll be honest, i would complain about giving up that 1 thing much of the lent period. or i would fall off the wagon. but i definitely didn't spend enough time really thinking about what christ has done for me.

i took suggestions from my friend. chocolate? no, not much of a sacrifice for me. i don't crave it much (i know, i'm weird like that!) hmmm...coffee? caffeine? sodas? no, not if i want to continue being employed. my boss probably wouldn't take too kindly to me sleeping on my desk every day. :)

the first day of lent came and went and no sacrifice was identified.

then today, i clearly heard from God...

you have sacrificed your son.

now you can really understand the deep hurt and anguish i felt when i had to sacrifice my Son, Jesus, for you.

now you know just how much i love you.

so my "sacrifice" this year, is to truly, truly meditate on how much God loves me. so much so that He gave up his only Son for me. above and beyond my bible study homework, i want to spend some time reflecting on this truth.

do you know how much Jesus loves you?

john 3:16
for god SO loved the world, that He gave his ONE and ONLY Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

10 comments:

julie said...

Cort,
What a beautiful baby boy. I know you are so proud of him. Thank you for sharing him with us. Love you.

Joy said...

Thank you so much for sharing. He was very beautiful! I'm really reflecting on all this that you have shared. We lost our baby over the weekend. I was "only" 12 weeks, but the loss is still very, very hard. This was what I needed to hear. Thanks again.

Rachel said...

He is absolutely adorable, Cortney. Thanks for sharing the picture with us. We'll always remember him. We're praying for you guys!

Stacy Stephenson Henrichsen said...

Oh my gosh, Cortney...Your blog entry just touched my heart so deeply. You are so amazing and strong to have such clarity about this heart-wrenching event in your life. You are a wonderful blessing and witness to God's love.

Kathleen said...

Dear Cortney and Kenneth,

Thank you for sharing the picture and your testimony. I know it was very hard for you to do. As I look at him there with all the tubes and restrained so he wouldn't injure himself it hurts a lot. It does make my heart glad to know he is free from all that and is in the loving arms of God's love. I love you both. I am keeping you in my prayers. I am sorry you have to go through this pain. I wish I was close enough to give you both a hug. Love, Mom

amy said...

Cortney,

Matthew was beautiful...I love seeing his picture. With tears streaming own my face, I am praying for you...will continue to pray for you.

love-Amy Anderson

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you have the picture of Matthew, and I'm glad you shared it. He was a precious, beautiful baby who will never be forgotten. Ditto what Mom Kathleen said. Love to you and Ken. Doug Jones

Laura said...

cort,
matthew was so beautiful. thank you for sharing him, his picture and your testimony with all of us. you are truly a gift to all of us made especially from God.
xoxoxo
laura

Misty Frank said...

Courtney,

You and Ken have a beautiful son! Your words touched me so deep as I think for the first time I really understood what my husband felt when we lost our baby in 2003. He has had a hard time sharing his feelings with me and how upset he became with God. I shared your words with him and it was just amazing. What a wonderful treasure to have a picture of Matthew. I miscarried at 13 weeks and I was never given a sonogram picture. I had 3 sonograms, but in Argentina it is not customary to give photos that early. You are a wonderful testimony for the memory of your son! God bless you as your words and strength will touch so many. You beautiful son is in the hands of God and he is truly perfect!

Kelly said...

Cortney,

Wow, I could feel the emotion & passion in your blog entry as I read it. What a beautiful picture of Matthew, and such a blessing. Thank you for sharing the precious picture! He is your little angel. Jesus is our calm in the storm. I will continue to pray for you and Ken.

Kelly